Requiem for John

John is coming to number 506 leaning heavily on his crutches. "They called me twenty seven pills John." John is cutting down the pills, doesn't walk on crutches anymore and his talk is beginning to make sense. He always talked from his own experience, slowly, clearly, like he was talking to small children. He repeats the same simple message again and again. Someday it might sink for somebody. "If he will open his mouth again one more time, I shall leave." Of course he talks again and I never left. He didn't hurt anybody and he never offended me. He was a good man and he took me under his wing and his talks began to make a sense even to me.
When I was walking to the party with a lonely lesbian in the tow and a cake in my hand, the lesbian asked me: "Where are you going?" "To the party." "I am coming with you." "You can't." And I slam the door into her face.
We are at the party in the fourth floor apartment with the balcony. It is smoke free apartment. At one moment all of us are standing on the balcony, smokers and nonsmokers alike, and John, who was rather round, is coming to join us. The balcony is already full and I get suddenly scared, that the balcony will not hold all of us. "John, you can not come here, or all of us will fall." John backed up and I hurriedly finished my cigarette and walked back to the apartment.
I left the party early afraid of conversations, because I am not willing to listen to anybody else then myself.
John approaching me on the porch of 506 is trying to penetrate a hard shell. Sometimes something sunk.
I am coming back from the long lasting trip and limping downstairs. It is three of us with an injured leg and John was one of us.
John who was able to give up smoking long time ago is standing with us outside on the freezing day and is trying to tell what he is doing with his life.The hard shell is cracking little bit. He is buying, selling and making little profit. He is coming to the house, when we are moving.
He is putting tasty cakes and Halloween candies on the table next to me. "John is trying to fatten you up." John is smiling little shy smile.
"I live across the street." I came to borrow movie Titanic and returned after two days. "Do something with your life. I go regularly to fire company."
John stopped coming. He went to Reading instead.
Couple days ago John was strangled by another man who trespassed Do not kill amendment.
I do not cry, but I am sorry, John. I will not meet you anymore. What the way to go.!

Copyright (c) Marie Neumann
Pottsville, 11/22/2011