Polar bears - Northern's trip

One day the vet stopped by and he said: "Since we have two bachelors here, the quarters are rather small, and we don't want two bears fighting over one female. You, Northern, will be going on the trip." "Where and why?" "There is a nice zoo in Midwest with more polar bears. You are going for a visit." "Why?" asked Standa. "For how long? Is he coming back?" "They are not too many of you, polar bears. We don't want you to get extinct. So we would like to have polar bears at least in the zoo's." "When is he coming back?" "I don't know, but he is coming back." "May I come too?" "Not this time. You will have to wait for your turn." Northern panicked: "What shall I do? How I will introduce myself? What do they expect me to do?" "I don't know," said Standa. "My mom told me to wash my feet and everything will be O.K.." Next day Northern left for Midwest zoo. For next two weeks people in the radius of two miles couldn't sleep for Standa's roar. He threw rocks into seals quarters. Luckily he didn't aim well. After two weeks he resigned, he ate, slept, watched people and seals, and did nothing. After a month or so Northern came back. "How did it go?" "I don't know." "Did you wash your feet?" "Of course I did." "So what happened?" "Nothing happened. I guess she wasn't interested." "I think her parents are going to have cubs, though." Northern wasn't as playful as before for a while. He was thinking about differences between male a female bears and females personality in general. She was smaller, not so masculine as he is. She wasn't as much fun as Standa, maybe, because she slept a lot. The bears continued to have a good time; they developed a new games like playing an airplane, walking around on their hind legs with a wide spread arms and whining. Children liked to watch them. Standa pretended to be an old gander, craning his neck and hissing like real goose. Northern imitated his she bear laying on her side and muttering: "Don't you see I am asleep? Stop sniffing me." "What is her name?" "I already do not remember. Something like Kim, Kam ... oh, Kamchi, like Kamchatka, Kamchi for short. I called her Kimchi and she didn't like it. She said she is not any cabbage." "You even didn't remember her name." "Who cares?" Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, Fall 2009

Canada geese

Canada geese live on the island all year around and they are a part of Zoo's attraction. They have a big willow tree on their island and most of the time they congregate under its long branches.
Years ago they flew from Canada south for winter with honking in their v formation. The Zoo's island was one of their stops. One fall they just didn't leave. Of course their wings are clipped now so they will have no temptation to follow wild geese. They seem to be content. Sometimes they listen to the stories of wild geese about there stops with the signs: Geese are not welcome here. Why bother then?

Polar bears - Diving2

Northern had a chance to watch Olympic games on TV. So today they tried more scientific approach. Northern said: "Some time ago I tried a forward dive. I didn't concentrate and ended on my belly. It knocked out my breath, after that I didn't dive for a while."
Here are the rules:
1. Find out how deep is a pool.
2. Never let your hands pull apart or to the side on any headfirst dive.
3. Do not turn your head to the side.
4. Learn exhale from the nostrils when diving feet first. This will prevent water rushing up into the nose.
5. Don't dive before I will get out of the pool, or you will break my back if you will end up on the top of me.
6. Raise your arms completely straight above your head, arms pressing against your ears.
7. Bend at waist. Never bend your knees.
8. Look for the spot on the bottom where you want to lend, when your front paws strike the water. Do not do anything with your tail. It will follow.*
The bears had enough of theory and went to dive. They tried forward dives, backward dives and reverse dives; inward dives, twisting dives, armstand dives, when a diver balances on end of platform in a handstand, then performs a dive from that position.
Then they went for more fun like a swan dive with arms swinging. They tried back dives, but didn't like them much (I don't want to knock my head against something I do not see) and didn't go for somersault dives, because: we are not so advanced yet.
They tried a pike though. By the end of the day they were exhausted. "I think we did to much diving for today." Said Standa and they went just to lie down in the warming evening sun.

* Theory I borrowed from: Dr. Sammy Lee with Steve Lehrman. Diving. New York: Atheneum, 1979. 150 p.

Copyright (c) Marie Neumann
Pottsville, Fall 2009

Polar bears - swimming

The swimming pool between bears and seals was divided by thick glass wall, but the seals flatly refused to be in the swimming pool at the same time like polar bears: "Look at that size and their appetite!" So when Northern and Standa went for swim the seals did something else like playing with beautiful beach ball. They learned how to balance it on the tip of their nose tossing it to each other and sliding on the ice. In the Spring time two mother seals were busy with their pups. So polar bears had swimming pool to themselves. In one afternoon they mastered breast stroke, like five times moving their arms to one side of the pool and the same to the other side, or just propel themselves by kicking. They turned around without touching the walls. They knew how to swim under the water, backstroke, and just lie on their back and look at the skies. By the end of the day they exhausted all possibilities of their tiny swimming pool and decided to go next day for diving instead. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 2010

We went for a walk

One Saturday afternoon we went for a walk around a lake. A city boy in his shiny shoes and I. He looked around. We didn't talk. We walked around swimming area. "Last time, when I went to swim here, there was a big, healthy looking human shit swimming toward me. I can not come to swim here anymore. I always see that shit."*
We crossed a little bridge. There is a clean, clear water coming to the lake. Water is coming from the forest. Behind the bridge is camping area. People live in the tents or RV's. Some are sitting at the tables, some make little fires, some have a lunch. The birds are singing. It's peaceful and quiet here. "What are they doing all day long?" he asks. With the camping under the tent it is this way: first night you can not sleep, everything pinches you and you keep sweeping a dirt and more you sweep, more is coming in. Second day you wear shorts or sweatpants, adjust loose pegs, cook a breakfast and watch what other people are doing. Than you loosen up and ask where you can buy milk and many other little things you have forgotten to pack. Your wife drives to the store and makes purchases. She returns, you have a lunch and after lunch you take out your bikes. Next week you all feel comfortable, sleep better and many things are not important anymore. You go for swim and for bike rides, you are getting brown and you feel good. Second week you go for hikes, enroll into bird watching and you make friends. You have to explain new neighbors, where they can buy milk, vegetables and who sells delicious peaches. The third week you begin to count the days, for long time you walk barefoot, small twigs or rocks do not bother you anymore - and you do not want so much to return back to civilization.

*When I told this story to somebody, he said, that the shit must be from Hazelton. How did he now it?

Copyright (c) Marie Neumann
Translation from Czech
Pottsville, January? 2011

Shenandoah

When we moved to Frackville I liked to take a bus to Shenandoah. There I stopped at doughnut shop for coffee and and a doughnut. The shop had a large selection of doughnuts - at least twenty kinds: plain, sour cream, crullers, doughnuts filled with jelly, creams, apple crumb, long johns, even chocolate filled. I sat at little table, drank coffee and chewed the doughnut, absorbed atmosphere and tried to listen. I still didn't speak English. From time to time I caught a word, but a conversation still didn't make a sense. At next table sat two elderly ladies. We smiled at each other and ladies said something. I told them I do not understand and that I am from Czechoslovakia. Friendly ladies moved to my table and we began a conversation: about Galicia, Poland, Slovakia, and Ukraine. About how their parents came to United States by the end of 19th century and how they have got married. Their husbands worked in the mines and women sewed in the factory, in summer they picked huckleberries, and a year around they looked for pieces of coal to sell and to heat the house. The old ladies didn't speak Polish, Slovak, or Ukrainian. They created their own language. It was something like Slavic Esperanto. Little bit of this, little bit of that. They adjusted, because they wanted to communicate.
I live here for thirty years now. Before Easter I went to look at pisanky. They are made of wood. On the wall hanged a handmade poster. Somebody wrote in Russian: Christos voskres. I read the words aloud and translated into an English. This way I met a gentleman who wrote it. We talked about Andy Warhol, Slovak and Moravian old ladies in rich costumes selling decorated eggs before Easter Na Prikopech St. and Vaclavske Square. I guess, this is also a history today.
I wanted to say thanks to the gentleman, so I said: Dzienkuje. The gentleman understood and he smiled. I do not know if it was in Polish or in Slovak. It was Slavic.

Copyright (c) Marie Neumann
Translated from Czech
Pottsville, 4/2011

Friendship 3

I rather be you than me. I feel cornered like a rat, when you are asking me questions like what makes me ticking, and when I am going to brake down, when you are bumming a free cigarette from me. Have a one, two, have five to celebrate the end of friendship which exploded like fireworks. I rather be you than me: free computer and paper, free lunches. Boom, there goes one friendship. Inside, deep inside - ouch - it hurts. You said you changed. I guess you did. Next time, when I'll meet your cat I shall bring him a present: a box from Altoids full of very hungry flies. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 4/10/2011

Lake Whitney again

I was to meet a group of people at Fishermen club. I was new to this group and I didn't know anybody. People were friendly, especially one woman took me under her wing. After the meeting she told me they always go to the nearest eatery to have a lunch and invited me to go with them. She introduced me to her half Hispanic children with black shiny eyes. After the lunch she insisted to pay for my meal. I felt awkward, I knew she didn't have money to pay for it but I didn't want to hurt her hospitality. O. K. I shall pay next time. Next time we didn't go, another time I was in the hurry, and another time I wasn't hungry. In one of these meetings I noticed my pen was missing. It wasn't big deal. I wasn't able to come to the meetings for next several weeks. One Saturday I came to the meeting and I was told she passed away. I never repaid her lunch. One day I was sitting at work in lunch area eating a piece of a yellow cake and suddenly a whiff of the air passed by, knocked the cake out of my hand and dropped it on the floor. "You owe me a lunch." "No, I don't. We are even. You took my pen." Whiff of air whiffed away. I told about my experience at the next meeting. A replay was: "Yes, we know she was in this kind of stuff." The end Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 5/14/2010

Why is a cat better in a bed than hot water bottle

I have a cat. She is an orange and white. I think she is the best cat in the World. When I lay down in my bed she crawls there, purrs, and she keeps me warm. I do not have to heat water on the stove and carefully fill a bottle with scalding water. Then I have to plug the bottle well so the water will not spill into my bed (it already happened) and wait until the bottle will be hot just enough to warm up my feet. Then I have kick the bottle out of the bed when the bottle gets cold. This procedure is possible to repeat several times during the night. It is very different with the cat. She purrs, it means she is happy to be with me and keeps me warm whole night. When she lulls me to sleep, she gets out off my bed and she does what the cats do. I do not disturb her. Sometimes, during the night, I feel warm heat on my back. The cat sleeps there. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Translated from Czech Pottsville, Fall 2010

A house

They built this house in 1967. In that year I had my twentieth Birthday. They began to fill it from the top. I would like to know: Why? I know it's just a detail and it is not important. I hope the lady who moved there first wasn't lonely for long and soon she has got the neighbors to love, to build new friendships, to gossip and to complain. She died in 1977. I turned thirty. They put the tenants on the top floor first. Why? Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 5/16/2010

My brother's tall tale 2

The family was harvesting day after day in the waves of heat under oppressive August sun. They put Maruska again on her blanket under a tree with her bowl of porridge and a spoon. Cans with cool water stood in the shade beside her. "Go and check on Maruska and bring us water to drink." Another time, when they went to check on her she wasn't there. Tolya was soon back without water. "She is not on the blanket and she is not nearby either." Whole family left work and ran to look for a baby girl. She could crawl but she wasn't walking yet. She couldn't get to far by herself. The family searched frantically. They found her in the woods about 200 meters away from her blanket. She was unharmed.
In the winter long evenings Maruska's disappearance was a favorite subject for a discussion. They agreed it was probably some animal - a fox perhaps - which dragged her into the woods. Why it didn't eat her? They didn't find an answer.

Copyright (c) Marie Neumann
Pottsville, Winter 2011

This elevator

This elevator is making frequent stops. It goes up and down and when you think you are at the top somebody calls you down. Please, let me make it to my floor. I have an ice-cream melting into my shoe. I don't want to take yo yo elevator today. The elevator, give me a direct flight. I wish to fly to the sky. My ice-cream is gone and sticky shoes are making sticky footprints, when I am walking to my door: squelch, smack, squelch, smack ... Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 5/11/2010

Dr. Faust

A key to the hole in a roof.
I think he never died.
They send him back
from time to time
to make more trouble.

Copyright (c) Marie Neumann
Pottsville, 5/15/2011

Happy reunion

A dog walked here, one dog full of flies. He was hungry, scared and looking for his master. He doesn't remember when he lost his scent. He was waiting for his whistle. One lost dog. His master was looking for his dog and everybody on the street was showing: here and there walked one lost dog. His master spotted him, when the dog was looking for something to eat at ATM Bank. He whistled and here is running happy master and his dog. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 5/9/2010

I don't know

I don't know
where this country
is going
when nobody
is working
and everybody
is stealing.
I don't know
where this country
is going
when nobody
is working
and everybody
is drugging
and drinking.
It seams
they are having
good time.
I think I am hanging
with the wrong crowd.


Copyright (c) Marie Neumann
Pottsville, 5/9/2011

Unconsidered

How many times was I selfish and unconsidered? In the night I see them passing by in a long line. Young mother traveling alone in an airplane I should let them go first and help her with a car seat. She was so smart, she fed her baby when the plane was about to depart. I didn't let one lady with crazy eyes to have my seat in a smoking section to have a one. I am letting my friends to take a blame and they already have done so much. I can not look into their eyes. I am ashamed. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 5/12/2010

Ladoga lake

No, I wasn't at Stalingrad. I died in Leningrad. You were riding a sled over frozen Ladoga lake with food and medical supplies. German airplane found you out and he aimed well. You died there, too. So much needed food never came. No, you couldn't be at Ladoga lake in the time of blockade. Were you waiting in the line for food, or was everything well organized? Did you hide in the shelter, when the raids came? Of course. You couldn't be at Ladoga lake, when I died from cold and hunger in Leningrad. You were too young. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 5/14/2009

21st April

I hear an ice-cream truck, first in this season, playing its tune; then it stops... Second sound is a skateboard on the sidewalk. It's a long stop. Everybody is hungry for the ice-cream. Maybe a long line, I can't see. I can hear it again. Very short tune - and longer stop. It's coming nearer. Skateboard is jumping on the sidewalk. Still waiting for the sound of ice-cream truck. Children are asking for money and the adults sometimes, too. Get out, run, do not miss the truck! The ice-cream truck is gone, to soon for this season. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 4/21/2010

Our hill

Our hill grew green fur velvet touch with your bare feet. Avoid a dog's poop. Touch and walk in the soft green grass luscious juicy green with darker shadows. Lie down and watch the whispering trees, blue skies with white sheep of clouds. Sheep, why you don't come down to eat our grass? Down came rain. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 5/3/2009