Robin

Robin is peeking over my shoulder when I type. Sometimes I ask him if what I wrote will not get me into the trouble with the authorities. "You are a poet!" Oh, Robin, I am such a fake and not a poet. I do not know how to spell and my poetry even doesn't rhyme. Not today, Robin. I am writing in Czech and chuckle silently to myself. I think it's funny. I will translate another day. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 7/7/2010

Flea circus (Czech joke) (Adaptation)

Jaja was the best jumper in the flea circus. He jumped so high it took two days for him to come back. The nights do not count, because nobody can see a flying flea in the dark anyway. He was so famous that a well known scientist decided to examine closely Jaja's skills. The flea circus went on vacation because without Jaja, who was the main attraction, they couldn't perform. First day the scientist ordered: "Jaja jump!" Jaja jumped. The scientist carefully measured the flea's weight, height, counted the number of the legs, their length, and he also measured how high the flea jumped. In the evening he fed Jaja with his blood. Then they both slept. Second day the scientist tore away one of Jaja's leg. Then he measured how high Jaja jumped. The flea jumped almost as high as yesterday.The third day the scientist plucked off another leg. The flea still jumped high. Day after day the scientist continued his experiment and Jaja jumped. The last day, when Jaja lost his last leg, he didn't jump. The scientist, before closing his experiment, wrote down the conclusion: "When the flea loses all its legs, it also loses its hearing. The flea circus temporarily closed down, because everybody went to look for Jaja's replacement. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 7/6/2010 Edited by Becki White, Reference librarian

Justice

What is right and what is wrong? If you will not teach a child, the child will not know. What will you do with all that money? Use it for bribery and corruption? Give away something for good cause. Everything is about power. Easy come, easy go. Only little fish will get caught. What about big fish? Statue of Justice is blindfolded. She shifts from one foot to another in embarrassment. I hear an old man's wheezing laughter echoing in Americas. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 6/26/2010

The keys

I have too many keys on the key ring. "Why do you have so many keys?" I even do not know where some of them go. Some do not have the doors anymore. "Why do you keep them?" For the thieves, I guess. It will take time to sort them out and there is a chance they will get caught in what they are doing. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 5/23/2010

Chimney sweeper

My friend cleans and repairs nuclear plants. He makes good money. Thorough a big hole he can see stars, so close, he can reach one, two, three, or whole bushel and bring them home to enjoy. At home they do not look so shiny when he polishes them. He mutters to himself: they must be made of some cheap metal. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 6/16/2010

Vacation

I am retiree. I have vacation every day. Cheap pass to swimming pool, time to relax, time to stop and smell the roses. I really do, I mean, smell the roses. What are your plans for retirement? I do not know. What are your plans for your future? I don't know. But I know I have a future. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 6/16/2010

Snake people

In the South of United States live people which are devoted to the cult of snakes. They have the snake farms there and cowboy boots made out of fine snake skin are worthy of oil magnates. There are so many snakes in Texas, that it is better to wear high boots, or at least rubber boots even in hot summer day. I don't know how to overcome big, old rattlesnake. I would recommend a big detour. Czech viper, when it is not taken by surprise, usually crawls away. As children we used to go to the woods to pick up wild strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, or cranberries. We were told to carry a stick in front of us and make a noise with it. It was a warning for the snake to disappear. I guess the stick technique worked. I didn't see many of the snakes there. At the Spring time in Texas are groups of people which go snake hunting. They catch the snakes, kill them, drink fresh blood and have a barbecue. I was told the snakes taste good - like chicken. I begged them to take me with them, because I would like to see something like that. They didn't. We went for a walk to the lake on the rock side. It was a warm early Spring day, bluebonnets were blooming, and we were wearing only sandals. Suddenly something long, grayish black passed by us and disappeared in the rock pile. "A snake!" It was the snake. It looked at us from his hideout with his little black eyes. It watched us and we ran away. Texas snakes are not afraid of people. They live beside each other, they live together. Farmers carry guns with them, shoot them and leave them to the black birds. Or they can drink their blood and have the barbecue. It depends on the taste. Neighbors burned brushwood. From the burned up pile was sticking little head of the snake with wide open mouth in the pain of the death. We went for walks with a man who was a part Indian. "Look at the similarities. The nature offers a cure for each poison." In Texas the cats kill the snakes. Sometimes it takes many cats to kill one snake. Take a good look at the snake and the cat's mouth; compare their abilities. The cats can also jump high. People do not drown kittens, or neuter, or spay cats. Nature takes care of their numbers. Of course, do not send your pet cat, which is resting whole day long on the sofa and eats only cat food, to catch a snake. That would be a murder. Snake people are celebrating Spring by killing the snakes, drinking their blood and eating barbecue. After a meal they stop at the bar with the name like Snake pit to wash it down with couple of beers, or something stronger. What the snakes say? I don't know. I ran so fast I didn't have time to ask. Copyright (c) Marie Neumann Pottsville, 6/7/2010